Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Guilt

I have been feeling a lot of guilt lately. 

Guilt for yelling at Greta for not listening. Guilt for being upset when she doesn't do what i want immediately. Guilt for working out instead of cleaning up the house. Guilt for letting Greta play on the iPad so I can breathe for a few minutes. Guilt for eating m&ms quietly in the kitchen so I don't have to share. Guilt for serving left overs. Guilt for asking Greta to take a bath with Lola instead of by herself. Guilt for asking Greta to give Lola a toy or put her paci in because I'm busy. Guilt for cleaning when I should be playing.  Guilt for not being able to stay longer at work. Guilt for having to then work at home in the evening. Guilt for letting Greta cry after I put her to bed. Guilt for letting Lola snuggle with me at night. Guilt for not spending more time with Ryan. Guilt for not talking with my friends more. Guilt that I have to travel. Guilt that I will miss something important in their life. 

Guilt... It's one of those things I feel that creeps up on you and then snowballs. I'm stronger than this and know I'm doing a good job but just wish the guilt would go away. 



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