Airports

One of my favorite things about traveling is the people time at the airport.

But man, sometimes I just wondering about things...  

Is bringing a pillow from a bed on a plane really worth carrying it around?

Why does a bottle of water cost $5+?

People with no carry-ons... It's weird!

Congregating by the boarding door - we are all going to get on, I promise. 

A grown woman carrying around a stuffed beast from beauty and the beast... And he didn't look new.

Dads traveling with kids alone impresses me.

Trip away

I survived my first trip away from Lola and first trip in a long time from Greta.  And we all did okay.  The girls got lots of loving from Grandma, Papa and Aunt Julie.  I'm not sure who had more fun.  All the smiling pictures and sleeping pictures and silly pictures made my day.

The work part of being away was very good.  For that reason, I'm glad I went despite how hard it was to be gone and for all the milk I had to dump (about 200 ounces). We even got to do an Italian cooking class and I got to eat lots of waffles.

I am also very grateful for all the love given to the girls.  It makes my life so much better knowing that I never have to worry about that.

Fun while mommy's away

A mothers love

Nothing can prepare you for leaving your babies - Especially when it's for the first time. I made lists, I packed, I planned... But when the time came to put them in my moms care it was like nothing before. 

I remind when I left Greta for the first time. I literally cried the whole way to Lansing. This time not as many tears but way more worry and stress and fear and anxiety.

I worry if Lola will be okay. Will she take a bottle all day okay? Will she sleep okay without me close by? Will she still nurse when I get back? Will Greta even care I'm gone? Haha- I hope she does. 

Stressed that I have to pump and dump almost all the milk. Will my supply be okay? Will my pump work? Will my boobs explode (lol)? Will I enjoy myself a little? Is it bad I might enjoy a night of sleep without interruption? But will miss my little cuddle buddy or my mama morning call. 

Listening to a crying baby at the airport no longer annoys me (not that it ever really did). Now it makes me sad. Sad that it's not my baby crying. Sad because if it was then she'd be with me. Sad that I can't hug and kiss them and make them feel better. Sad because I would give anything to hear a cry, a laugh, a babble, a yell for Mama - pretty much anything.

So here's my prayer...

Dear God, 

Please keep me safe on my travels. Watch over me and give me the strength to preserve through these next few days. Watch over Lola and Greta. Make sure they know how much I love them and will be back soon. Take care of my mom and keep her sain and help her protect my babies. Be with Ryan as he travels and misses the girls too. 

Amen.

House reorg

Ryan and I have been on a cleaning/reorg kick... We'll probably more me than him, but he's a good sport helping whenever I ask. 

We turned the family room into a playroom. 

Moved the big couch to the basement. 

Cleaned out the work out/ playroom. 

Moved the crib to Lola's room

Put a full size bed in Gretas room 

Getting rid of the old mattress that was in the basement 

Took down all the Christmas decorations 

Moved a bunch of toys to the basement 

Got a big pile to donate

Got a big pile to throw out when there is room in the trash cans

Moved the tall shelf to the basement for my laundry organization

Put the baby bounced chair and the bassinet away 

More pictures to come 

Accidents happen

I won bad mommy of the year tonight.... Greta snuck into our room again.  In she crawled about midnight. Finally about 2:15, I decided it was time for her to go back to her room after Ryan and I had gotten repeatedly kicked. 

As I lifted her up, I realized she was wet. I thought... She must have had a big soaker. I wish!! Nope... Mommy forgot to put a  pull-up on. 

Get her changed. New pjs. Laying back down. I return to our room... Ryan now woke up to discover wet everything as I'm getting ready to tell him. Lola is awake now too. 

So I change all our bedding. Grab Lola who wants to eat. Decide I should change her diaper first. Open it up and yup... She pees all over everything. Ahhhhh! So new clothes for her too. 

Oh I forgot I had to get new clothes in there too because Greta soaked me too when I picked her up. 

So now 3 am... Finally feeding Lola and praying the peeing messes are done for the night. 

Lola 5 months old

What a great 5 months sweet Lola has had. I feel over Christmas break she really came into her own.

1. Talking up a storm... Especially to Greta. And has the best laugh. 

2. Is such a happy baby 

3. Can sit up by herself for a few minutes. 

4. Loved sitting in the high chair at the table with us

5. Usually sleeps through the night - and always does if she's sleeping next to me

6. Is taking 3, 5 ounce bottles at day care 

7. Definitely noticed when I leave her now 

8. Celebrated her first Christmas and loved the noise of wrapping paper and all the lights on the tree

9. Is a great car rider - almost always falls asleep and if not, is content to just ride. 

10. Still a great burper and usually comes home from day care in different clothes because she spits up. 

Love her so much and all the joy she brings to everyone's life. 

My workout buddy

I need to get a picture or video of Greta working out with me. It's priceless! She'll do squats, jumping jacks, lunges, butt kicks, rows, - basically she'll try whatever Jillian Michaels tells her. 

Tonight I was doing an easier modification and she yelled at me and told me I was doing it wrong and needed to do it right. Well I guess when a 2 year old tells you to kick it up a notch... You kick it up a notch. And I do! 

Love that I am instilling a healthy life style for her and that she will know that exercise is good. 

Guilt

I have been feeling a lot of guilt lately. 

Guilt for yelling at Greta for not listening. Guilt for being upset when she doesn't do what i want immediately. Guilt for working out instead of cleaning up the house. Guilt for letting Greta play on the iPad so I can breathe for a few minutes. Guilt for eating m&ms quietly in the kitchen so I don't have to share. Guilt for serving left overs. Guilt for asking Greta to take a bath with Lola instead of by herself. Guilt for asking Greta to give Lola a toy or put her paci in because I'm busy. Guilt for cleaning when I should be playing.  Guilt for not being able to stay longer at work. Guilt for having to then work at home in the evening. Guilt for letting Greta cry after I put her to bed. Guilt for letting Lola snuggle with me at night. Guilt for not spending more time with Ryan. Guilt for not talking with my friends more. Guilt that I have to travel. Guilt that I will miss something important in their life. 

Guilt... It's one of those things I feel that creeps up on you and then snowballs. I'm stronger than this and know I'm doing a good job but just wish the guilt would go away. 

Last Christmas party

Saturday we celebrated one more Christmas party at uncle Davids with the Webers. So great to see everyone and catch up. Greta got spoiled and there was lots of Lola loving.

Emma with Lola 

The cousins

My great aunt Pearl and Lola 

Go blue!

To cheer on Michigan in their bowl game, we all dressed in our maize and blue. 

And they won! Commandingly! 

Then i remembered that Greta wore this little cheerleading outfit about the same age as Lola. Definitely sisters but with their own look. 

Guess who?!?