So Ryan and I started marriage counseling with Pastor Rob. Luckily for us, I know Pastor Rob, who is my Mom's cousin Dawn's brother-in-law and married both Mary and Julie, so I knew his personality but wasn't sure what to expect. We spent a couple hours together talking so he could get to know us better. He asked about our families, how we met, what we liked about each other, difference between men and women and relationship,and most importantly the role God plays in marriage. We talked about the boundaries of marriage and establishing them and how to be creative within these boundaries. If you both are in the same boundaries and know that no matter what, neither one will leave, your marriage will grow strong. It's when one person decides to leave or stay in the boundaries and not take an active role in the marriage that the marriage fails. Marriage is definitely not a passive thing.
I think one of the things I appreciated the most was Rob talking about his marriage. He has been married to Debbie for over 30 years and he didn't paint this perfect picture. But he gave wonderful examples of dealing with situations and also knowing each other's love languages. Ryan and I had actually already taken the quiz to figure out what our love language is... mine is affirmation and Ryan's is physical touch. Rob told us what his and Debbie's were and how they use that love language to strengthen their relationship and make sure the other person knows how important and loved they are. He said that men most want to be respected by their wives, where woman most want to be loved and cherished by their husbands. And I definitely agree.
So our next session is going to be at their house. He and Debbie are going to have us over to hang out, have a few beers and play games. One game he says he plays with all this couples that are getting married that year is Compatibility. In the game, couples pair up and are given a topic and then search through their identical photo decks for cards that they think best fits that topic. Rob said it's a great game to play to see how your partner answers questions. And I love games... so I'm thinking this will be lots of fun!
I'm excited for our journey through our marriage counseling. I just want to take everything in that I can so I can be good wife and child of God.
1 comment:
As I read your post, I wish that Pastor Rob would not only have married me but counselled us as well. I didn't learn anything from my marriage counseling, but we have built a great foundation. Juile
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